Santa Moments

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I have been given the golden opportunity to play Santa for others. I have the full costume, the padding (all mine), white hair, and white beard (also all mine). I get stopped by kids and families often when I wear red out in public during this time of year. It has created many opportunities to see families at work, creating memories, and playing with the most fun aspects of the seasonal mythology. I am just the stage prop for pictures with the opportunity to engage and watch.

One five year old joined me at the chair. I asked if she was on the naughty or nice list. She assured me, in the most convincingly sincere manner, that she was on the “nice” list before shooting her father the unmissable silent command to back her up. He responded with a silent, but clear facial signal, that she was safe because he had her back. Santa would not get any evidence or comments to the contrary. They were great!

Sometimes being Santa is like watching a taffy machine working the candy to the precise perfection needed. Families come in pulling on each other from every direction: loving, being loved, needing help, sharing forgiveness in as many directions as it is being required by self and others. They manifest all the push and pull of loving well and not so well to terribly. They are processing life together in a way that shows the many levels and dimensions in the struggle to love, be loved, and be lovable. They are simultaneously making mistakes and learning to repair or deal with them.

They are actively engaged in the process of being family and showing how intimate and necessary the process is for life. It is miraculous and unique in each family. People miss all the finely tuned moments of life by only measuring love in the big moments when it is the brass band instead of when it is the breeze in the tree tops or the rustle of leaves on the ground. I see God in all these small, messy relationship connections that build a family into viable and critically important unit of personal and community life.

It is truly a life resource that is under attack and in constant need of protection. Christmas is a time where great healing and unity is possible for those who believe and pursue God in their daily lives.

Discernment

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Discernment is the ability to evaluate the qualities in any choices. The most personal and or important discernment might be between good and evil because that affects an individual person at a potentially eternal level.

There must be a solid standard for discernment to work. Many people choose standards which do not require moral and or ethical standards like the controlling values of money, wealth, prestige, power, and the like. False standards, or gods, are dangerous and can create tremendous levels of life and relationship damage. It is important to know whether a god or the God is the controlling influence.

Scams require discernment to see through them and not be trapped by them. Scams appeal to desires and feelings, not to standards of virtue that are greater. You see so many pitches for instant (or extremely speedy) health, wealth, appearance, power, or pleasure of some sort. The worst scams we face might be the lies we tell ourselves. “I can break _ (list any healthy life discipline broken) because __ (list any excuse you’ve ever used).”

Discernment teaches us to see who or what benefits from the program, sales pitch, or idea being presented. The detective movies always say, “follow the money.” Another way of checking for scams is the old saying, “If it sounds too good to be true, be assured it is.” The Bible is the best measure. This measure or standard can be applied to business, politics, relationships, and church.

Prosperity preachers are being treated like scammers because their messages appeal to man’s desired outcomes more than the preferences and purposes of God according to the Bible. However, any preacher or person who shares the gospel can cherry pick their preferred verses to make the Bible appear to say what they want it to say. The problem isn’t the Bible. It is the person distorting the Bible for their own purpose. It’s up to each person to know the difference: discernment.

It is important to protect ourselves from the scammers in this life and the scammers who misrepresent truth for their own benefit. “Is this the truth of God as verified throughout the Bible or the preference of man?” Is a good guiding question. It is important for each of us to know what is having a controlling influence over our choices. A critical life skill is discernment between the self oriented values of this world and the true virtues of God. Jesus is a proven standard and is verified throughout the Bible.

Something Better

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I think on this day before Thanksgiving I would like to offer a thought about being thankful for more than the pleasant things.

It is natural to be thankful for all the benefits and comforts of life, the things that go our way, and the things that bring satisfaction in our accomplishments. I think that it’s equally important to give thanks to the rest, the gifts of life that form and shape us into the people we are.

It is the discomforts in life that grow us towards maturity and that teach us how to make decisions with experience and wisdom. The discomforts teach us to learn from this mistake because a bigger one is in the wings waiting for us if we don’t. It is how we learn to endure, be strong, have courage, and stand fast in adversity. It is the proof of true and deep friendships. It is the comfort that God is the Father who trains his children as we train our own for success, discipline, and hope.

It is the drill instructor that pushes a soldier beyond his limits and forces him into the routines that will save his life on the battlefield. It is the coach or circumstance that pushes an athlete beyond all his/her known abilities to unearth the greater abilities within. It is the parents that discipline to shape the ship that will carry a person through the waters of life. It is the nagging doubts that give insight and strength and stabilize beliefs. It is the frustration that empowers someone to have patience and endurance. It is the losses that teach compassion.

Today, in addition to being thankful for all the blessings, I am thankful for the blessing and education of discomfort, challenge, disappointment and all the training in hope, discipline, and love they provide. I am thankful for the worst things that have happened in my life because they have become testimonies of hope to persons needing encouragement. I am grateful that I have never been alone no matter how isolated I felt.

We may provide God the fertilizer of all the sorrows we experience in this world, but He uses those things to plant beautiful flowerbeds and fruit bearing plants. God does not wish our sorrow, but He knows how to transform them into something better.

Villains and Heroes

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There are patterns in movies that appear to be very true in the real world, at least according to public news and media (if you can label that as real world).

Villains, who have no moral or just backing for their opinion or actions, are the most aggressive in enforcing their attitude, behavior, or control. Heroes tend to hyper aggression only when pushed by villains to stand against their aggression and/or for moral values. It is almost like you can measure villains and heroes by the amount of intimidation and manipulation used to accomplish their will. Intimidation and manipulation feel free to use lies, deceit, and accomplices to achieve a goal.

This begins at a very young age. Children manipulate, tell the “truth” they want believed, and gather mob support, “everyone is doing it,” before they understand how they learned those techniques might work to get them what they want. Those techniques may be unattractive in a child trying to get dessert before dinner, but they are an abomination for adults who use the same techniques to gain power, money, and prestige.

I am not one of those who believe that the end justifies the means. I believe the means justify or destroys the end result. Moral and ethical values create an outcome worth having, where the other will build layers of destruction into its outcome that will hurt many or all. Hitler, as always, is a textbook example of a villain and a villain’s process. You can see him in the little “Hitlers” in the work force or family to world leaders. The process is identifiable because the pattern, scaled up or down, is clear, “I will do what needs to be done to get what I want.”

Heroes, depending on the level of self sacrifice they are willing to give, process in the opposite direction. They prefer moral and ethical values over personal preferences. They will sacrifice themselves more than requiring others to sacrifice for them. They see the health and wellbeing of the community as a powerful motivation and goal.

I see both villain and hero inside me. I have the natural instincts of the villain and the desire for the hero. I see the war Jesus taught us about working inside my mind and heart. It is a war. This is why I pray. I need help fighting off the villain and living more heroically. Jesus won this war. I trust Him to help me fight it.

Vacation

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I have often thought that I could have a great vacation if I could be a (blank: fill in your own prejudice here) for a week. I don’t think I would want to be this for more than a week because I might grow into it and never leave. But consider the short term relief of being a (blank).

As a (blank) is never wrong, there would be no self recriminations or doubts about your behavior, thoughts, or feelings. You would be free of concern for other’s feelings. It would naturally be their fault if you did anything that harms them in mind, body, or soul. They should have known better. It would be perfectly correct to blame others for things I may have done or caused because a (blank) has no faults. There would be no need for gratitude because a (blank) deserves every good or blessing that comes as a right and privilege of being who/what he/she/it is.

Consider the opposite. Think about how much time you are consumed in concern for others. Don’t count the concern you have for your own needs because that is the human condition. Think about the concern you have that impacts others, whether you’ve helped or harmed, and to what degree. Consider the amount of energy you spend going out of your way for others. Consider the time you take caring for others in priority over your own needs. These considerations provide a measure of how far you have moved away from being a (blank). It may actually reveal to you how much distress it would cause you to be a (blank) for a week even though you might want the rest.

I’ve decided I prefer my current frustrations over being a (blank) for a week. I prefer the little humility I might have over the ego a (blank) exudes. I have closeness in friendships and family that a (blank) will never attain. The rewards of the caring frustrations outweigh any possible benefit to being a (blank). I agree that love is more powerful and beneficial in all its inconveniences than selfishness could ever gain by its cruelties.

Deception

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There is a human tendency to believe in others what they see in themselves. Honest people tend to believe others honest, and corrupt people believe all are corrupt. It is a natural behavior to apply ourselves to the world around us because of the condensed limitations of our lives. Deception works on this process.

The stunning truth is that humans ignore a trap and walk, or strut, right into a killing zone. We know that drugs and alcohol destroy, yet the number of addicts only increases. It appears that the deceptive lure is more powerful than the truth. We overlook the cruelty of a Hitler because he sounds good and looks good on the surface despite his being the invitation to total destruction. People who accept appearance as truth will always fall because rarely are things as they appear. Even when they are, we, as humans, only see the smallest portion of what is happening.

There is a story of building a house on sand or rock. The foundation is critical to the house standing. Our preferences and desires are often sand because that is a foundation of “what works best for me in the moment.” It is a truth that shifts according to our affections and circumstantial perceptions. It is transitory truth that is powerless to stand.

There is a truth outside of us that is not so transitory. The Bible reveals a God that is true and consistent over thousands of years in human experience and verified in every generation to the present day. God is not transitory or vulnerable to the thoughts and emotions of circumstances like humans are. We can see God most clearly in Jesus who was not tricked, deceived, or brought to harm by any trick or lie. He proved that real truth lasts beyond death and the grave where human truth ends. We will always be tricked when our body and this life is the truth we serve. We can walk in true freedom when Jesus, who was truly free from all the deceptions of this life, is the truth we follow.

Deceit

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My youngest son believed his older brother to be a great hero. We came upon our youngest right after he broke something. He immediately proclaimed that his brother did it. We reminded him that his brother wasn’t home. It didn’t matter to our young son. He didn’t want to be caught or punished, so he blamed his brother. Humans tend to tell others what they want them to believe or what it is believed the other wants to hear.

Wanting justification and/or forgiveness without consequences shows prominently in every form of media we experience. The media also shows that those avoiding honesty are willing to see others being punished because they are not of the same mind, thought, and/or priorities in life. Some of the most brutal people on the planet seem to be those crying out for acceptance without equal willingness to show it in return.

Accountability is tough. It is facing your responsibilities regardless of what anyone else faces. It is standing in the face of your own right and wrong honestly, without hiding, without avoiding, and accepting what comes from the actions or behaviors.

Like my son, confusion comes when we deceive ourselves that mistakes can be covered up or will go unseen. Lies always tell on themselves. It may take a while, but they will be revealed. It is easier to face earlier than later.

My son got in trouble twice, once for breaking something and another for lying. We have seen politicians create more crimes in their cover up than the original issue, all while being run to the ground by reporters.

There is a place in each of us where we want truth to be as we want it rather than as it is. I recognize this in me. I have become more sophisticated as I aged, but sometimes my behavior is little different from my son: cover up, blame others, act as though it didn’t happen. No one wants to be punished, even when it is amply deserved.

The church was created to focus on God and to create a loving environment where people can have the courage to face themselves honestly. God meets us where we are and is not confused by where we tell Him we are. Honesty with Him is a basic requirement. It is the best and safest path.

Thankfulness

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Recently, we went to a resort in Orlando and had several surprise experiences related to thankfulness. Here is an interesting example.

It was late. We were tired. We had spent the day getting in enough steps to clear our walk calendar for a week or more. The best choice for food was the restaurant closest to the room. It was an excellent restaurant in the resort where we stayed.

We were greeted by the hostess in whom my daughter confided all her food allergies in the hope she could find something to eat. Her allergies are rough and could easily cause a trip to the hospital. Our waiter arrived with the written list in hand and coached her through the menu, checking with the chef over any questions. It was one of the most relaxing meals in a long time.

The next morning we went back for breakfast. It was the same level of care and more. My daughter picked up something from the buffet that might be dangerous. Our waiter spotted it while passing by, told her, took her plate, replaced all that she had that was within the restraints, and went about his business as though it was nothing. We were stunned.

I called for the manager, and watched my waiter’s eyes show horror and anxiety, so I called him over to hear. I paid them the compliments they were due regarding the care and conscientiousness we were shown.

Here is the surprise. All were ready for a complaint and were geared for it. You could see the shift in the body language and the focus to bear up to the inevitable. You could see them inwardly searching for a way to make peace and make right. They had stiffened as for an assault. They were shocked and were completely unprepared for compliments and appreciation. They began to scramble as though they were in unfamiliar territory. I was as surprised as they because their care seemed to be normal to their operation.

The same thing happened at check out. I wanted the resort to know about the service of one of their restaurants. The scene was repeated, gearing for an assault and complete unreadiness for a compliment.

The moment challenged me because I live in a society in which complaint is the norm and gratitude is not. I was excited to have surprised them with joy and reflective to consider how many times I take others for granted and fail to recognize their efforts on my behalf. I must study the implications of 1 Thessalonians 5:15 and 18 which say, “15. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 18. give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Eastern Standard Version.

I will not run away.

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My father was afraid of snakes, terribly afraid. A grass snake would cross in front of his push mower, and he would be in the air taking his first running steps before he hit the ground, calling for someone to come kill it. I do not know why snakes held such a special place in his life because he was a courageous man in all other ways. It was just the snake, any snake. So, as a small boy, I decided to love snakes and would catch them at every opportunity.

There was a day that I caught a great snake about two feet long. I was eight to ten years old at the time. I went to the open, screened window and called for dad, holding the snake behind my back and out of sight. He placed his face near the screen and asked what I wanted. I pulled the snake out in full view and watched my dad leap backwards, turning over a favorite chair and taking out a lamp.

I knew I was dead. My sense of humor was now going to cost me more than I could pay. I knew better. I do not remember what happened as a result of my mean prank. I do remember standing in the yard for what seemed like days holding the snake as my only hope of safety. Dad would not discipline me, or come near me as long as I held the snake.

Mom would occasionally open the back door and ask if I was ready to come inside. I was too afraid to let go and too afraid to run away. No matter what I’d done, I belonged to my dad, and there was nowhere else I could go or would belong. So I stood, locked, with the snake. Eventually I must have put it down and gone in because I’m not still standing there, holding a snake.

I should know better by now, just put the snake down and face the music. I know that discipline is a good thing and the right thing to keep me from harm, especially in the hands of God. Knowing that makes me wonder why holding a snake seems so attractive.

Saying Is Seeing

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I had a long conversation with my pastor about the beauty and growth of our church. The more we spoke, the more I realized that everything I said exposed where I am in my personal growth. I see the church in terms of where I am. That may or may not directly correlate with where the church is. We, the church, are a single group made up of diverse individuals, as my friend Heather says. We are each a unique part of the same creature.

The pastor has the unenviable position of seeing all the individual parts, hearing each speak from his/her point of view, and the requirement to discern what they say in the context of the whole. He has a most difficult job, especially when you consider that He has to apply what he hears the family say to where the Lord is leading and to move all the family toward God. Anyone who has had to keep a group in a good working relationship while on a journey together knows the challenge.

Speaking to the pastor shows me my limitations and individual point of view. I may not have really seen myself honestly in my thoughts. My insight became much clearer as I opened my mouth to speak. My words, out loud and in the open, began to be more clear when put in the context of a broader and deeper point of view. The pastors ideas, responses, and point of view acted as a mirror, reflecting my words and ideas back to me so I could see them better through context than when they were just located in my mind.

The insights give me the opportunity to pursue the Lord with what I’m seeing inside myself. Though the pastor made no complaint or correction to me, my words showed me immaturity in my thinking and insecurity in my feelings. What was not seen or said by my pastor became obvious to me through my own words.

I used to say things to my students like, “You can’t write any assignment without exposing the author behind it.” It is as true in me as it was for them. Listening is a two way proposition. It is hearing the other and hearing what is really behind what you are saying. It is the complex art of self correction and awareness for growth’s sake. It is choosing to reflect and become aware of your own motives, good and bad. Your own words can help you see what growth lies in your future. God uses relationships so that, through our communications, we can see Him, each other, and ourselves with clearer vision. God’s plan is our growth toward Him. Our openness allows Him to teach us, even through our own words.