Feeling used is probably a pretty normal experience. Consider the pretty girl who isn’t treated like a person because someone can’t think past her appearance. Same experience comes to handsome men or for anyone who is dealt with according to their appearance instead of their personhood, for good or bad. Pretty normal. The word stereotype operates in so many directions that it can be turned on anyone at just about anytime.

How many have been misused because of the overwhelming need of the person they are facing instead of for the purpose of the get together, or maybe their own needs get in the way of being understood or understanding others. Human beings are pretty complicated. Sometimes it ends up being funny, things you laugh about together afterwards. Sometimes not.

Being outgoing and humorous always got me into trouble. I feel like I live from “I Love Lucy” embarrassing moment to the next embarrassing moment. My tendency to want to lighten a tense situation has caused others to use me to lighten a situation, often causing me to feel belittled or joking at me instead of with me.

These kinds of thoughts make me want to understand relationships better. I want to be better in the relationships I have and the ones I’ve yet to build. I want to find all the humor, purpose, joy, empathy, and compassion and all the other good things that make relationships so crucial to a healthy life. I want to find them, and I want to give them. I want to be able to give mercy where misunderstanding would otherwise swallow or destroy a relationship.

Recently, I realized that my relationship with Jesus was prone to all the disadvantages of my person to person relationships. It showed up in Matthew 14. The beginning of the chapter explains how and why John the Baptist was arrested and killed. I always got lost between the death of John and the feeding of the 5,000. Herod was a bad guy, but Jesus was a good guy and fed 5,000 with a powerful miracle people are still talking about. 

Between these two events, I missed Jesus. John the Baptist was His cousin. He was also the first prophet in 400 years for the Kingdom of God. Jesus was told about John. He, “withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by Himself.” John was a great loss to the Kingdom of God and to Him personally. He referred to it later. “But I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they pleased. So also the Son of Man will certainly suffer at their hands.” Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them of John the Baptist.” Matthew 17:12-13 ESV Jesus was also facing His future at the hands of those who would murder Him. He deserved and should have had some time to Himself. You can see the person and caring nature of Jesus in His response to the loss.

Jesus landed on shore only to find that the crowds had raced and beat Him there. He turned from His own need to heal and feed the 5,000. These were people, like me who loved Him for His miracles instead of for Himself. The feeding the 5,000 was the byproduct. The miracle was that Jesus, the King of Heaven, had such compassion and mercy that He left His own need for a little time of quiet for people who did not understand who He was/is or even care why He was doing what He did. They saw the miracle, but they probably missed Jesus as I have, between the death of John and the great visible miracle. 

I see that I have a lot left to learn about relationships and how to treat people. It is in moments like Matthew 14 in which there is a chance to see the personhood of Jesus the Son of God and realize that there is so much more beauty there than the miracles could ever show.