Seek the Lord challenge

I am aware that I pray often. I pray big prayers, all or nothing prayers, radically change me and the world prayers. I am ambitious in my prayers, after all, I’m talking to God who can do anything. God is not a genie. I also pray small prayers, realistic prayers, and relationship prayers (the best ones because they concentrate on my relationship with the Lord).

However, in the midst of giant prayers, I occasionally become aware that I don’t really want what I’m asking God to give me. I couldn’t handle it if He gave it to me. I’m praying for millions when I can’t handle the modest budget I’ve been given to steward. God works far above and beyond my personal security limits. He is like a parent who knows the true cost and all the ancillary requirements the big prayers require. Ask for the millions because you can buy anything and don’t worry about all the problems and issues it will cause when you get it. Daydreams don’t cost anything, but life does.

I think the Lord hears the truth in my prayers. “Speak to me, but don’t scare me. Tell me stuff that isn’t threatening or that doesn’t require me to do something drastic. Show me stuff, but don’t show me what I’m really like because I couldn’t stand being that disgusted. God you are too big for me. I am terrified and talk to you like a terrified child who wants to pretend he is safe and okay.”

I’m not okay. The Lord is that big and scary. The Lord also knows how small I am and talks to me as a parent does to a small child who isn’t expected to understand the adult world except through time and teaching. His world is too big for me. I can only take small doses.

Jesus, who could have wiped our entire world clean of anything or everything with the snap of His fingers, (Thanos wouldn’t stand a chance against Him) chose to limit Himself for our sake to communicate with us at our level of understanding. 

The true power of Jesus isn’t what he did for us while walking the planet, but the limits He chose to impose upon Himself for our sake.  He translated heaven into human terms, which is still relevant today because of the spiritual truth He is still revealing behind the human face of history and life stories, in scripture, and so many other ways. 

Facing God is a terrible and a wonderful thing. Terrible because He really is that big, that powerful, that totally God. It is wonderful because He loves us enough to work with us where we are, constantly working to draw us into a better place.  His goal for us is always better than our own goal, goals for eternal well being, not just momentary comfort. He is totally trustworthy to deal with people who don’t really understand what it takes to fulfill their prayers or even grasp what they are requesting.. God may have to build a house before he can give someone a room of his own. Only He knows what it will take for each of us.