This morning was a blue morning. Sadness crept around like dust bunny soldiers gathering in every corner and stealthily floating out to take over the mental flooring of my mind. It was like a hoarder who only has the smallest of trails from one place to another in the house remaining. The sadness closed everything but the trails.

Sadness was an army in miniature. Little soldiers isolating and surrounding every thought and feeling. They began to throw light on all the weight of all the things kept hoarded in my mental home, the emotions swept under rugs, the unsorted and unresolved stacking of life-thought and feeling, threatening to collapse and cut off all movement, intimidating me. I began to feel alone and powerless, disjointed, disconnected, and without purpose or value, adding to attack of the army of sorrow.

It seemed the battle was lost for a while. Self image was dying. Motivation to move forward was ebbing toward immobility, and strength to do anything was being drained. I was in retreat and on the edge of surrender. However . . . .

I was not being swallowed by a hoard of my own failings or being devastated by my own inability. I had turned my eyes to the world around me and entered my weakness and its. Light had grown dark in its presence. But I am not alone. 

The Spirit of God, given by grace, is not prone or subject to my weaknesses. He may reside in my life, but is not subject to my failings. He may wait on me, but He will not fail me. He stirred the resources, the battalions in readiness for such a time as this. In my surrender to Him, I had prepared as best I could, and had given Him authority to do what I could not.

Scriptures and promises began to take the field. Testimonies fired the big guns of promises already kept, fortifying the scriptures and promises to come. The cloud of witnesses the Lord had choreographed to surround my life began shouting praise and reminders of the Lordship of Jesus, raising standards and calling battle cries. My thoughts and feelings began to reconnect, and the soldiers of intimidation went from being on their guard, to backing up, to full retreat. 

There is peace and joy in the presence of the Lord. Separation from Him is the misery of life in its worst. Prayer, fellowship, scripture, and time with Jesus heals that sorrow and runs off the sadness in the life of this world. The Lord is deeper than my deepest fear and greater than my greatest enemy – even and especially when the worst is me. Jesus is Salvation.