I can’t watch “I Love Lucy” because it embarasses me. How can a TV show do that? Easy. I think I got a silly gene from somewhere, and funny things happen to me. I’m the guy who could stand up in a restaurant, knocking over the waiter with a tray of hot soup, which lands on the next table, creating total chaos, that escalates through the restaurant. 

I didn’t want to pass the silly gene on, but my youngest son got a dose of it. He really makes it work. His children adore him, as he adores them. I see in him, and his version of the silly gene, a complete lack of pretence or self presumption. In him, the silly gene is the ability to lovingly and innocuously move to any level with any person, even a small child, and communicate. I’ve seen people without the silly gene be able to do the same thing. Maybe I’m the only one who gets the embarrassing side of the silly gene, but I don’t think so.

Embarrassment comes when irony happens in real life, the opposite to what you should reasonably expect. (The teacher in me had to add that definition.)  It is that moment you get in your car to head to get some new tires and find that all four tires are flat. I have learned to fight the rigid fight response to those moments, because anger is a native best friend to embarrassment. Learning to accept and go with the humor of the moment is the opposite of my natural response, but the one that works the best. So why bring this up?

God very often works in complete opposition to human normal. His kingdom is upside down to our way of thinking. Leaders are to be servants, the first shall be last, in giving you will receive. His ways aren’t our ways unless we are learning to be more like Him, which has to be an intentional choice. It is learned behavior to let our guard down, give up our pretense and our self presumption. 

Time has taught me that those embarrassing moments become bonding moments between myself and those who love me. They see me as I am and accept me when I’m silly and when I’m not. We gain intimacy, depth, and joy through all the good and bad moments because love accepts and encourages. It builds up without tearing down. It allows you to be completely yourself without the defenses that always lead to conflict and division. 

Destructive defenses destroy relationships and potential relationships. The “I must look good according to how I think others see me” creates walls and warfare which not only hurt others, but keeps a person from receiving the love and healing so desperately needed by everyone. God’s way is upside down, but it works. Love has no need for walls, defenses, or perfection from anyone. Love does not fight to maintain an image of self, but it relies on the truth.

I guess that it should be no shock that the death on the cross is necessary for the life of relationships because no relationship can exist without forgiveness. Forgiveness destroys walls, defenses, and an individual’s unreasonable belief in his/her own perfection or ability to be right no matter the cost to others. God’s way works. Death gives life, another upside truth, because it takes the death of selfishness to love others. Loving others is more fulfilling in every way than loving self.

With all that said, I still can’t watch “I Love Lucy.” I may be learning, but, apparently, I’m not there yet.