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Vacation

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I have often thought that I could have a great vacation if I could be a (blank: fill in your own prejudice here) for a week. I don’t think I would want to be this for more than a week because I might grow into it and never leave. But consider the short term relief of being a (blank).

As a (blank) is never wrong, there would be no self recriminations or doubts about your behavior, thoughts, or feelings. You would be free of concern for other’s feelings. It would naturally be their fault if you did anything that harms them in mind, body, or soul. They should have known better. It would be perfectly correct to blame others for things I may have done or caused because a (blank) has no faults. There would be no need for gratitude because a (blank) deserves every good or blessing that comes as a right and privilege of being who/what he/she/it is.

Consider the opposite. Think about how much time you are consumed in concern for others. Don’t count the concern you have for your own needs because that is the human condition. Think about the concern you have that impacts others, whether you’ve helped or harmed, and to what degree. Consider the amount of energy you spend going out of your way for others. Consider the time you take caring for others in priority over your own needs. These considerations provide a measure of how far you have moved away from being a (blank). It may actually reveal to you how much distress it would cause you to be a (blank) for a week even though you might want the rest.

I’ve decided I prefer my current frustrations over being a (blank) for a week. I prefer the little humility I might have over the ego a (blank) exudes. I have closeness in friendships and family that a (blank) will never attain. The rewards of the caring frustrations outweigh any possible benefit to being a (blank). I agree that love is more powerful and beneficial in all its inconveniences than selfishness could ever gain by its cruelties.

Deception

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There is a human tendency to believe in others what they see in themselves. Honest people tend to believe others honest, and corrupt people believe all are corrupt. It is a natural behavior to apply ourselves to the world around us because of the condensed limitations of our lives. Deception works on this process.

The stunning truth is that humans ignore a trap and walk, or strut, right into a killing zone. We know that drugs and alcohol destroy, yet the number of addicts only increases. It appears that the deceptive lure is more powerful than the truth. We overlook the cruelty of a Hitler because he sounds good and looks good on the surface despite his being the invitation to total destruction. People who accept appearance as truth will always fall because rarely are things as they appear. Even when they are, we, as humans, only see the smallest portion of what is happening.

There is a story of building a house on sand or rock. The foundation is critical to the house standing. Our preferences and desires are often sand because that is a foundation of “what works best for me in the moment.” It is a truth that shifts according to our affections and circumstantial perceptions. It is transitory truth that is powerless to stand.

There is a truth outside of us that is not so transitory. The Bible reveals a God that is true and consistent over thousands of years in human experience and verified in every generation to the present day. God is not transitory or vulnerable to the thoughts and emotions of circumstances like humans are. We can see God most clearly in Jesus who was not tricked, deceived, or brought to harm by any trick or lie. He proved that real truth lasts beyond death and the grave where human truth ends. We will always be tricked when our body and this life is the truth we serve. We can walk in true freedom when Jesus, who was truly free from all the deceptions of this life, is the truth we follow.

Deceit

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My youngest son believed his older brother to be a great hero. We came upon our youngest right after he broke something. He immediately proclaimed that his brother did it. We reminded him that his brother wasn’t home. It didn’t matter to our young son. He didn’t want to be caught or punished, so he blamed his brother. Humans tend to tell others what they want them to believe or what it is believed the other wants to hear.

Wanting justification and/or forgiveness without consequences shows prominently in every form of media we experience. The media also shows that those avoiding honesty are willing to see others being punished because they are not of the same mind, thought, and/or priorities in life. Some of the most brutal people on the planet seem to be those crying out for acceptance without equal willingness to show it in return.

Accountability is tough. It is facing your responsibilities regardless of what anyone else faces. It is standing in the face of your own right and wrong honestly, without hiding, without avoiding, and accepting what comes from the actions or behaviors.

Like my son, confusion comes when we deceive ourselves that mistakes can be covered up or will go unseen. Lies always tell on themselves. It may take a while, but they will be revealed. It is easier to face earlier than later.

My son got in trouble twice, once for breaking something and another for lying. We have seen politicians create more crimes in their cover up than the original issue, all while being run to the ground by reporters.

There is a place in each of us where we want truth to be as we want it rather than as it is. I recognize this in me. I have become more sophisticated as I aged, but sometimes my behavior is little different from my son: cover up, blame others, act as though it didn’t happen. No one wants to be punished, even when it is amply deserved.

The church was created to focus on God and to create a loving environment where people can have the courage to face themselves honestly. God meets us where we are and is not confused by where we tell Him we are. Honesty with Him is a basic requirement. It is the best and safest path.

Thankfulness

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Recently, we went to a resort in Orlando and had several surprise experiences related to thankfulness. Here is an interesting example.

It was late. We were tired. We had spent the day getting in enough steps to clear our walk calendar for a week or more. The best choice for food was the restaurant closest to the room. It was an excellent restaurant in the resort where we stayed.

We were greeted by the hostess in whom my daughter confided all her food allergies in the hope she could find something to eat. Her allergies are rough and could easily cause a trip to the hospital. Our waiter arrived with the written list in hand and coached her through the menu, checking with the chef over any questions. It was one of the most relaxing meals in a long time.

The next morning we went back for breakfast. It was the same level of care and more. My daughter picked up something from the buffet that might be dangerous. Our waiter spotted it while passing by, told her, took her plate, replaced all that she had that was within the restraints, and went about his business as though it was nothing. We were stunned.

I called for the manager, and watched my waiter’s eyes show horror and anxiety, so I called him over to hear. I paid them the compliments they were due regarding the care and conscientiousness we were shown.

Here is the surprise. All were ready for a complaint and were geared for it. You could see the shift in the body language and the focus to bear up to the inevitable. You could see them inwardly searching for a way to make peace and make right. They had stiffened as for an assault. They were shocked and were completely unprepared for compliments and appreciation. They began to scramble as though they were in unfamiliar territory. I was as surprised as they because their care seemed to be normal to their operation.

The same thing happened at check out. I wanted the resort to know about the service of one of their restaurants. The scene was repeated, gearing for an assault and complete unreadiness for a compliment.

The moment challenged me because I live in a society in which complaint is the norm and gratitude is not. I was excited to have surprised them with joy and reflective to consider how many times I take others for granted and fail to recognize their efforts on my behalf. I must study the implications of 1 Thessalonians 5:15 and 18 which say, “15. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 18. give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Eastern Standard Version.

I will not run away.

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My father was afraid of snakes, terribly afraid. A grass snake would cross in front of his push mower, and he would be in the air taking his first running steps before he hit the ground, calling for someone to come kill it. I do not know why snakes held such a special place in his life because he was a courageous man in all other ways. It was just the snake, any snake. So, as a small boy, I decided to love snakes and would catch them at every opportunity.

There was a day that I caught a great snake about two feet long. I was eight to ten years old at the time. I went to the open, screened window and called for dad, holding the snake behind my back and out of sight. He placed his face near the screen and asked what I wanted. I pulled the snake out in full view and watched my dad leap backwards, turning over a favorite chair and taking out a lamp.

I knew I was dead. My sense of humor was now going to cost me more than I could pay. I knew better. I do not remember what happened as a result of my mean prank. I do remember standing in the yard for what seemed like days holding the snake as my only hope of safety. Dad would not discipline me, or come near me as long as I held the snake.

Mom would occasionally open the back door and ask if I was ready to come inside. I was too afraid to let go and too afraid to run away. No matter what I’d done, I belonged to my dad, and there was nowhere else I could go or would belong. So I stood, locked, with the snake. Eventually I must have put it down and gone in because I’m not still standing there, holding a snake.

I should know better by now, just put the snake down and face the music. I know that discipline is a good thing and the right thing to keep me from harm, especially in the hands of God. Knowing that makes me wonder why holding a snake seems so attractive.

Saying Is Seeing

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I had a long conversation with my pastor about the beauty and growth of our church. The more we spoke, the more I realized that everything I said exposed where I am in my personal growth. I see the church in terms of where I am. That may or may not directly correlate with where the church is. We, the church, are a single group made up of diverse individuals, as my friend Heather says. We are each a unique part of the same creature.

The pastor has the unenviable position of seeing all the individual parts, hearing each speak from his/her point of view, and the requirement to discern what they say in the context of the whole. He has a most difficult job, especially when you consider that He has to apply what he hears the family say to where the Lord is leading and to move all the family toward God. Anyone who has had to keep a group in a good working relationship while on a journey together knows the challenge.

Speaking to the pastor shows me my limitations and individual point of view. I may not have really seen myself honestly in my thoughts. My insight became much clearer as I opened my mouth to speak. My words, out loud and in the open, began to be more clear when put in the context of a broader and deeper point of view. The pastors ideas, responses, and point of view acted as a mirror, reflecting my words and ideas back to me so I could see them better through context than when they were just located in my mind.

The insights give me the opportunity to pursue the Lord with what I’m seeing inside myself. Though the pastor made no complaint or correction to me, my words showed me immaturity in my thinking and insecurity in my feelings. What was not seen or said by my pastor became obvious to me through my own words.

I used to say things to my students like, “You can’t write any assignment without exposing the author behind it.” It is as true in me as it was for them. Listening is a two way proposition. It is hearing the other and hearing what is really behind what you are saying. It is the complex art of self correction and awareness for growth’s sake. It is choosing to reflect and become aware of your own motives, good and bad. Your own words can help you see what growth lies in your future. God uses relationships so that, through our communications, we can see Him, each other, and ourselves with clearer vision. God’s plan is our growth toward Him. Our openness allows Him to teach us, even through our own words.

Truth is Not Enough

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Truth is not enough

As an avid reader and occasional writer, I know that words without context are incomprehensible. Words without context are the ones most often confused and misinterpreted. “Shoot them” makes one kind of sense with a doctor providing medicine shots to a group of people with the same medical need, another to an assassin being encouraged by a partner, and another by someone being told to protect innocents from a murderous attack by terrorists. There are so many contexts that will completely change the meaning and intent of that phrase.

I listen for context when people speak to me about their faith. Are they talking about the God they know personally or only know about. People who know about God can be the cruelest people because they are full of truth that has no love, compassion, and forgiveness. Justice without compassion is abusive. I’ve been hurt by persons who were wrong and others who were right. The context made all the difference with both.

One person cruelly created a disaster in my life that took years to overcome and still has an impact today. However, I later realized that he was doing the best he could with the partial information he had and was intending to help, not harm. His intention was only experienced long after the injury when I learned about what happened, why, and how. I began to heal when I was able to forgive him. My forgiveness did not make his mistake less so. It created a context within which God could work to bring restoration and redemption. The facts without forgiveness would have never made room for healing.

The Ten Commandments are the most powerful rules for teaching right from wrong. They provide a guideline for excellent laws: love God, be accountable and responsible, and care for others. They show a standard of my rights should not keep you from having your rights. Yet, without love, compassion, and forgiveness, these laws can create the worst kind of brutality when people hold others to standards that no one can keep perfectly. Knowledge without the interaction and relationship with a living God can be horrific. Only God, who is superior to His creation, is the only one who can mediate and create the correct context for truth. Men speaking for God often can not. Listen for the truth, and the context. Listen for God.

Thoughts on Prayer

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What is prayer? A wish, a hope, purposeful thoughts, or a conversation? Prayer as a conversation means there is another engaged in the dialogue. Who is the other you converse with? Is it an idea, a standard, a disconnected deity, a person in power, or possibly a true God who responds and engages in the conversation with you? Faith and religion can be as simple as the Bible describes or as complicated as humans can make it, and we often complicate things extraordinarily.

Consider an ant holding a conversation with a blue whale as a wild example. The whale is beyond any ant’s imagination in size and power. It lives in an environment beyond anything an ant can experience. An ant entering a whale’s environment, though natural to the whale, is death to the ant. Neither can the whale live in the small, earth-bound environment of the ant. There is no way the two can coexist in the natural. These two creatures are incompatible due to their different natures. We are both whale and ant in this strange example.

That relates to humans and God only to a point. There is a third element that is within humans that can directly connect to God’s nature, and that is spirit. Spirit is that part of us that is made of the divine nature in that it is a forever piece of us that is bonded to flesh and blood. That means there is a piece of God’s environment tied to this physical nature. We are, to keep with the example, part whale and part ant. It is no wonder that the differences do not leap into harmony with each other within us.

Jesus is the perfect manifestation of God in both natures to connect with humanity, body and soul/spirit. Jesus is the perfect wedding between spirit and physical humanity. He is able to communicate through all barriers and confusions to create understanding for productive conversation. He is spirit made physical for the work of relationship. His life, death, and resurrection is convincing proof that God wants the conversation/ relationship. He has truly gone the “extra mile” by coming to us as only He can. Prayer is a living conversation with God who starts the conversation, carries the conversation, and responds to the conversation. Prayer is not words on the wind, but a dialogue, a two way conversation.

Pumpkin or Carriage

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I love the story of Cinderella. She was always a wonderful person in the story, only her circumstances changed. Life was good when her dad was alive, bad when he died, and fabulous when she was discovered by the prince. You might see a parallel in a Christian’s timeline. Good while small and under someone’s protection, bad when we are on our own and our own values and strengths, and fabulous when discovered or discover, the Prince of Peace. I know it is way too general, but there can be some commonality.

I imagined a Cinderella comparison in my life. I saw the negativity in me, yet many of my former students have said nice things to me and about me, and I’ve been called a “favorite” teacher by many I’ve come across. Some have even made an extra effort to contact me through social media and other methods. So where is the real me? The guy I often see in the mirror or the teacher students generously accepted? I compare this to either a person sticking his head in a pumpkin by trying to be a good person in his own awareness and strength or the person riding in a wonderful carriage made from a pumpkin. The difference in the story is a fairy godmother. The difference in my life is Jesus. He creates the beautiful carriage I get to ride in, which is so much better than me sticking my head in a pumpkin.

Without Jesus there is no carriage or values that would create a lovable, respectable person. Love and the qualities of God (called the fruits of the Spirit in the Bible) are a manifestation of God wherever they are found, even when found among persons who reject God and intentionally fight against Him. Love can’t exist if God is not somehow present in some way.

The joy of Christianity is that Christians know who provides the true qualities of joy and beauty and can connect with the author of life. God created the pumpkin carriage through His constant work to grow me past my total commitment to selfishness. He added His generosity to show me grace when I was unable to be what He and I prefer me to be. I rode in a carriage pumpkin instead of wearing a pumpkin with my head shoved in it because God gave better than I had to offer while He was (and is) still working on my transformation to better.

Beauty in the desert

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The desert sands are the dry tears of the earth, the deep tears too precious to share, the pain beyond expression. Yet, there is beauty and life in that most desperate climate and ecology. The plants that grow there are all the more precious because of the rarity and hardship in their life requirement. How beautiful must be the fruit birthed in the suffering of a person that arrives in the climate of their utmost pain.

Compassion often arrives to a suffering soul through the life of one who has likewise suffered. It is the offered arm of one who, without judgment, wants to lift up and strengthen his fellow. It is the warriors bond of, “We can stand as we support each other and continue the fight.” It is a love that goes over, under, or around the walls of judgement that separates people from each other. It is the care that sacrifices itself for the genuine need of the other. It is the quality that marks the work and/or presence of God in us by not having ourselves as its center or key component. It is a beauty beyond most or all others despite its circumstance. It is the desert flower both vulnerable and enduring, strength bonded to weakness. It is the quality that the story tellers hunt for in the history of people and their survival in the tumult of life.

I would that I could be an oasis for others who travel the desert places I sometimes inhabit. I would hope to provide a drink of water during a time of their dryness and a place of shade for rest in the heat of the journey. I hope that my time in the desert would provide a respite for them as has been provided for me by those who put themselves aside for my benefit and need. The Israelites wandered in tents, from well to well or water source to water source, through the dry and sometimes harsh environments of their trail. A perfect image of our wandering process of growth development through the often inhospitable circumstances of this temporary world. Yet, like the desert, we have opportunities to see and taste the beauty of that which is to come when the deserts are no more.