I am fascinated with individual perspective as I have it and as I see it manifested in others. It is odd that we, who are in the picture, often think we can see ourselves as well, if not better, than the camera person. I think my friends can often see me better than I can because they are not fettered with the need I have to see myself in a good light. I can somehow justify anger based on the person or event which triggered the anger instead of the brokenness in me which was the real cause of the anger.

My wife had a gift of calling on me right when I was going to sit and rest. I decided I was going to let her know that her talent was upsetting when I realized that it wasn’t her at all. It was revealed that she had no idea when I was going to sit. Her call was coordinated to test how loving I was and how willing I was to put others first. It was a real heart check, which I failed at the time. I’m still in a learning mode.

Babies provide revelation. Children under two have no problem with a diaper change. They have no issue, discomfort, or embarrassment with having someone else take off the old, clean the mess, and put on the new. They immediately go back to playing without a backward glance. They have yet to learn the shame and embarrassment that comes with training to live in this world. We call every mess a mistake, a faulty label. There are no mistakes for the growth oriented because all are training events in the process of going forward. We are victimized and unintentionally victimize others as though we were all born without the need for diapers and diaper changes, as though we could do all things perfectly the first time — a truly painful perspective.

Each of us is on a different growth timeline. We grow at different speeds and in different ways. It is easy to forget that the immature are now standing in their timeline where we have stood. Impatience is born and expressed when one person cannot respect another’s place on his/her timeline. It is amazing that the Lord deals wonderfully and uniquely with each of us as we are each in our own learning and growing timeline. He does not move to embarrass or shame us, but to move us forward toward a healthier and happier future with Him. I want to be more like that. I’m trusting that becoming more like that is on my growth timeline. I also wouldn’t mind a little less guilt and embarrassment when I make a mistake/mess. I’m sure that’s on my timeline too.

The sorting hat in Harry Potter is an interesting image. The hat sees into the person and determines where they will fit best in the school. I’ve watched coin machines work through bags of coins, putting each coin in its proper place and thought it would be convenient if we humans could do something like that, easier than all the trial and error we normally go through. Hardship or tragedy sometimes operate like a sorting hat because it reveals the true qualities of a person to themselves and to those around them.

Tragedy can clear away so much confusion. It can cause people to sort between their true and supposed priorities and grasp hold of the ones that are near and dear to their hearts. It can show the true character of a person beyond all the pretenses and affectations. It can prove some people and establish that what they say is what they mean and do. It can also show when they play fast and loose with the truth, pushing appearance over reality.

We all need friends to walk with us, regardless of what the sorting of hardship shows about us. We need friends when we are true blue. We need friends even more when we find we are extremely slack in our values and maturity. I don’t believe any of us would survive to find maturity without the sacrifice of those who have to endure us when we aren’t. It is important to realize the sacrifice of those who care for us and to express it to them.

Our hardships also sort those around us and show us who loves us beyond convenience and self benefit. Their generosity is not only our greatest joy, but a proof of God. Jesus is that Devine point of best and worst. Man was at his worst, attempting to kill God for interfering with our control. Jesus gave Himself as the liaison between perfect love and perfect selfishness. He is proof.

Love is a big and common word in our world. I think it is often used when a synonym would be more appropriate or even a descriptive phrase. I love you could really mean like, attracted, lust, desire, admire, respect or other like terms. My mind is set on the definition of love that does not have any “give to get” in it. I feel that true love is a giver without thought of receiving. It is sacrificial in nature. The love chapter in the Bible is beautiful if you are on the receiving end and expensive if you are on the giving end. It gives without taking or requiring. It costs your life.

I’ll use the name Barney because I don’t and haven’t had any friends named Barney. Barney was a high school chum and one of the most inconvenient people I’ve ever known. He came to my house in elementary school to spend the night. We stole cigarettes. We poked holes in my window screen upstairs so we could poke out the cigarettes if someone came, and they did. Dad came stampeding upstairs, threw open the door, flipped on the light, and saw the cloud of smoke in the room. Then he saw the holes in the screen and ran yelling downstairs. My window was right over the fuel oil tank that was walled in with the ground under it thick with dry leaves. Dad got the fire out until he returned to us. Then, he was in flames. My friendship with Barney was like that until he died some years ago. I loved him like a brother without any reason I can define.

Marriage is like that. There is a lot of “I get” in marriage. Some of the “I get” comes at my wife’s expense without her getting any dividends in return. She loves as a gift with no payment required. I am grateful and grateful for her example. I want to be like her and others like her who are beautiful in giving. They are examples of Jesus. Jesus has given without our ability to repay in any way at all. There is no way to earn His love or pay Him back.

Here is the irony. Jesus’s expectation or request is that we accept Him and His gift so we can receive more. Accepting His gift is like my receiving my wife’s. It produces change in me. The generosity makes me desire to be better and do better because I can see and experience the true value of the gift. Relationship with Jesus is the gift that keeps on receiving and models a life that keeps on giving.

Children under two are walking and running around. Yet, even small things can upset them. They cry when they bump into a table or fall unexpectedly or drop a toy where they can’t pick it up. They look to a source of comfort, a parent, and they run to comfort. A parent is a giant and can handle all the giant things in a child’s life from a child’s perspective.

It is sad when we are the giant and have to handle all giant things ourselves. We really aren’t giants. We accept that some people are giants in their fields of expertise like a CPA or a medical doctor. They are giants limited to the range of human abilities. There is much more going on that is beyond humanity. It is easy to see how much we’ve progressed since neanderthal man, but impossible to imagine what lies ahead in the whole of creation.

Somehow, man innately understands he is a spiritual creature, more than flesh, feelings, and thought. Every generation of man has sought to understand spiritual truth, patterns, and God. There is far more to life than physical creation. We are children still in the face of giants. There is evidence and proof of God, but it is easier to have faith in science than faith in God even though both have facts, evidence, and require faith.

It is curious that people can trust down to their level and below and not trust up, that there is a creator who structured all life. We will easily go to a CPA about finances, who may or may not be trustworthy, but not to the creator who has made Himself visible and available. It must have to do with giving up control to someone or something else. A child has to accept a parent’s authority to get a parent’s comfort and provision. I met an atheist who wasn’t really concerned about whether or not there was a God. He just wanted to be a giant in his own world instead of a child in another’s. I prefer Jesus who has proven Himself and accept an ongoing childhood.

Marriages born of differences are gifts for growth, but pride, selfishness, and cruelty would turn them into tools of destruction. One’s venting becomes the other’s abuse unless the two learn to see the truth behind the actions from God’s generosity and compassion. The first learns that venting is release not attack and must be open to counsel. The other realizes the frailty of the first, denies offense, and gets help or provides help as the Lord and the other allow.

Coffee is not a solution to all problems, nor is a quiet cup of tea. It is pretty much a guarantee that both upset partners will need to examine themselves when a crisis arises. Assuming that the other is the source of the problem is an issue of pride, more than enough reason to apologize and accept change. A quiet time of prayer can open doors for both upset partners. When the two are expecting God’s truth to intervene, the two in distress can be dealt with in positive ways.

Anger can be reduced in the presence of thankfulness. My wife and I have been married 47 years so far. The more time I look to see thankfulness for her, her gifting, the more I see, which is more reason for thankfulness. Thankfulness looks past the offense and into the face of opportunity because it sees something better coming on the horizon for both parties. It is absolutely true that the lesser qualities of each can be beneficial to both in a healthy growth environment.

A healthy growth environment is created by wisdom. Wisdom is a characteristic that is formed by the ability to be taught, corrected, and humble. It searches to use knowledge in its right purpose instead for selfish reasons. Knowledge can be destructive because it can be limited to human ability. Wisdom has to be connected to God and His purer values which will build up and not tear down, will heal and not destroy.

True marriage is a contract for two humans to collaborate with God, who has their best in mind. He will cause the two to constantly increase in joy, health, and well-being. They will gain ground in troubles, being strengthened instead of weakened, both personally and in marriage. Destruction is not a requirement, no matter how many disparage marriage. Marriage can, because it was intended to be, the most wonderful relationship ever experienced. It is an example of life with Christ.

I am an old guy with old guy values. I believe that God created women beautiful from the beginning without any need of additional work. Society, on the other hand, uses beauty standards to enslave and injure women. Men would never put up with the inconveniences created by fashion designers who must hate women. Their clothes are inconvenient with all the buttons, zippers and fasteners in places that almost require assistance or a contortionist ability. The cruelest part is the constant attack women undergo if they aren’t in style or surrendering to societal demands. This demand is historical. Women died due to corsets or suffered severe health issues in the past.

Models are my example of famine. They are starving in a land of plenty. They are gifted with beauty by public standards, but spend much of their wealth trying to be more. Clothing, plastic surgery, make up, and so many other beauty expenses damage their finances and prove that they are unable to be satisfied with themselves. Interviews show that they are extremely aware that they have a short life span for being a model just like most athletes have a limited time span in their sport.

Models and athletes are extreme examples. All people tend to feel like they live under a microscope, being evaluated and judged by the people and circumstances around them. Standard memes on public media joke on the assumption that women will constantly judge other women behind their backs. Youth are a primary target of advertisers and social media to set standards and trends for them to follow. Many girl students came to school complaining that they could not find long shorts because the stores only sold shorter shorts than the school required. I believe it is true. People and society are cruel, often without thinking.

Jesus deals with people according to who they are, not how they appear. Women were highly respected and welcomed into ministry in the New Testament, despite a few of the commonly misquoted verses which would attempt to subjugate them. It is not right to put another down to make self feel better. It is a failing of humanity to favor those most like self and demean those living in a different pattern. It is cruelty to degrade others who have done no wrong except being different. Jesus enters all countries, all cultures, in all places to rescue people from the cruelty and death of selfishness and evil. I need to be like that. the more people who are like that, the better the world will be.

Business values often operate opposite to their own best interest. The money matters-dollar counters, often end up doing things that gain money fast but loose it bigger in the long run. Consider the example of the American Automobile industry.

The government had to bail out the American automobile industry. Americans were selling big cars when the customers were moving to economic cars. Americans were in a hurry and getting cars to show rooms and into customers hands. They hurried so much that they ended up with endless recalls, costing them the profits they made and the customer faith they needed. The Japanese were doing the opposite. They sold cars that were high quality and earned customer trust. It was a competition between earnings and excellence. Americans gained prominence early but lost income and customer base in the long term. You could even compare this as money over morality, selling quickly to get money or selling quality because it works.

I have the same example from a more recent event. I had a car dealership try to overcharge me for a simple repair. I know of the overcharge because I went to another dealership for comparison. I bought three cars from the first dealership, so I tried to work things out. They kept saying they had done nothing wrong and said they were following the book despite a same dealership in another city proving the lie. The first dealership lost my business to maintain their appearance and cover their thoughtlessness. They preferred money over integrity but lost the money because of the lack of integrity. We see tons of examples of this kind of dealing in the public media. Whistleblowers give the intimate inside portrait of people and/or companies who go too far for money over integrity.

Each of us knows the value of trust. A trustworthy person and/or business is a treasure. Trustworthy people and businesses have to put the value above their own desires. They are the ones who tell the truth, no matter how inconvenient, will do the right thing – even when it costs them. They gain profit and customer satisfaction by doing the opposite to convenience. Trustworthy is a value of God because it takes someone more than human to do it perfectly, completely, and reliably.

God’s values are one of the ways we prove Him and see Him, and our world is full of examples of proof. It is strange when people can’t see the truth when it is plainly exampled before them, like business men who will go out of their way to deal with someone trustworthy but will not be trustworthy themselves. We live in a world where God is alive and showing Himself plainly to believers and unbelievers, but only those who choose to see Him can. It all boils down to choice and our freedom to have one, a freedom that He provides. Choose wisely.

The American culture prizes productivity and outcomes. This can turn into the impatience of “I want to be there and not on the way there.” We as children expressed this perfectly on any vacation trip to such a point that it has become a standard often repeated in many circumstances, “Are we there yet?”

We want to be there and rewards and awards represent that. We hurry through today to get to tomorrow. Actors are often valued by the rewards they win, as are athletes. That is great, but also problematic. They were rarely, if ever, alone while doing that which earned them an award. They were part of a team, a group, or an engaged circumstance that developed, brought out, or highlighted their ability. I’m not indicating that all should get rewards. It is good to have the carrot dangled in front of someone. Motivation is important. However, those who did not win the award were no less valuable. We can’t discount all the movies, performances, and efforts or the gifts of people just because they didn’t get an award.

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” (Arnold Schwarzenegger) He also said, “For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.” Accomplishment and products come at the end. Schwarzenegger indicates that it is the process which is the most valuable. The value of process is lowered when we put our eyes on the prize and forget today’s part in tomorrow’s outcome.

Our lives are built in relationship with family, friends, associates, work, service, circumstances . . . . We work to grow into the fullest version of ourselves we can become. The prize is the process. There is no reward and no end to an individual’s growth. Each person has the opportunity to develop their lives until the last breath they breathe. There is joy in living and growing that does not need to be put off for some kind of product or outcome. Every day, even the worst ones, can become a source of joy.

Jesus provides both relationship and purpose. The relationship provides us with a hope and life-filled circumstance right for growing. The purpose gives us the values for growing and the vision for growth that gives a constant influence of joy and direction in the process. In relationship with Jesus and His purpose, the outcome is known so an individual is freed to live in the joy of today and freed from the tyranny of tomorrow.

PT Barnum wrote that circuses were very skilled at attracting the public by having an exciting parade through the town, complete with a highly decorated bandwagon in 1855. Jumping on the bandwagon is defined as joining others in doing or supporting something fashionable or likely to be successful. It is based on acceptance through popularity. It is a powerful force used for good and/or evil.

Jumping on the bandwagon becomes dangerous when popularity, or perceived popularity, overtakes truth and quality. Group think or popularity can be extremely intimidating as is was in Germany during WWII. The German people didn’t start off with bad desires. They wanted respect, a healthy economy, the ability to live and grow, all appropriate. Hitler promised to provide those things and actually did so by disobeying the laws set against German military. Popularity overcame truth to a point that truth became increasingly easy to suppress. Hitler became like a god, and the bandwagon took the entire country for a ride into destruction.

It is easy for us to say that would never happen to us, but it is happening every day. Businesses and politicians use this to create popular trends to push people to accept popularity instead of verification of quality. Teenagers use the allure of popularity to pull friends into destructive lives. I saw that most students were introduced to all the things we adults don’t want the young to try by their friends, not by enemies. Churches can do this unconsciously by preferring the people like themselves instead of reaching the downcasts and outcasts that Jesus always reached.

Acceptance by others and position in the group must be something completely innate in us. Even the homeless have group priorities within their own station of life. Jim Jones used this powerful force to take a group from doing good in the suburbs to murder and mass suicide in Guyana. It is a powerful force which has to be recognized and faced. Our need opens us to the possible twisting of evil or leading by honor. How do we tell the difference?

Telling the difference isn’t easy, but it is doable. Detective shows always say, “Follow the money” to find the perpetrator. Something similar can be said in this case, “Who gets the benefit?” Selfishness can be identified. Hitler wanted all the power and glory despite all the lies he spread to make it look otherwise. A truly discerning person, of whom there were many in Germany at the time, can see the trail of truth versus lies. Hitler moved to kill all those who could discern the truth. Jews were probably a target because they believed and adhered to a God other than Hitler and could not be dissuaded. We can compare the qualities of man in Hitler to the qualities of God in the Sermon in the Mount and the listed fruits of the Holy Spirit. The difference is clear despite lies and cover up.

Teachable moments don’t always come from where you might expect. You consider time in a class, in a church, in a seminar, reading a book or some other activity as being the prime teachers. I agree, but only to a small degree. The most teachable moments are those in which you are caught off guard and triggered into a moment where self awareness meets a teaching, which may simply be an experience, a thought, a reflection, or any of the things I’ve already listed.

Grandchildren can provide teachable moments. They are unfiltered, responding as human animals to their surroundings in a way that shows their inner emotions and feelings. Tell them “no” and you will see the resistance a person has to being refused. Self awareness can trigger a sudden remembrance of how I deal with not getting my own way. I put a little filtered spin on my actions, but those around me know I’m hiding my frustration, and probably not as well as I think I am. The little people are teaching me about who wants to be first, how not to behave when sharing, only wanting the snack food instead of the main meal, and other lessons I have not yet completely mastered. Embarrassing but needful reminders.

One of their main lessons is about the structure of relationship. They possess little knowledge about life and how it works, yet they make demands as though they have grasped the entire picture. They make me aware about how I treated my parents when I only knew what I wanted, and they knew all the possibilities, problems, and issues related to my request and what it would take to make it happen safely and reasonably. My grandchildren point out that I have acted like I understood the whole picture all my life when I am yet to achieve that wisdom. True wisdom would know that information gathering, discussion, and negotiation are needed with people who are in the true leadership role with the captain’s view of the ship and all its workings and workers.

Having a limited perspective is hard to handle because it is completely challenging to recognize and admit. Being in authority is preferred to being under authority. It is no wonder people find fault with Christians. Being a child isn’t something any of us find to be easy, especially as we grow older and think we’ve outgrown our inner child. I’m sure that the Lord would prefer for us to recognize who the real parent is in our relationship.