Precious

Crocodile Dundee says that the Aborigines laugh at the white man who says he owns the land because the land was there before and will be there long after the supposed owners will be lost to memory. I think about that quote when I watch people and realize how much effort goes into being important, powerful, remembered, and more along the same lines. People want to be precious, the kind of precious that make others notice now and remember long after they are gone.

I had a friend I’ll call Ralph because I don’t know any Ralphs. I met him in junior high school, through high school and beyond. He grew up in a family of boys who all grew up and went their different ways disappearing as drops in the ocean of life. Ralph had stories, tons of them, but none were the kind of stories told on stage, reported in the news, or celebrated by nations. He entered the Vietnam war, lost friends, fought face to face with an enemy, was wounded and came home – different.

I remember his wife calling me to the rescue. He had gone to one of the new Vietnam movies. I found him in the theater. I watched his face as he watched the movie and learned that there was a kind of horror that was beyond my imagination. He had the nightmares, and some of the undergirding cheerfulness of his life had been killed. He roamed through careers and marriages. My last connection was a picture of him playing in a small river in Thailand with his new wife and child. Then he was gone. Where are those stories now. Where did he measure on the precious scale to those who knew him, were around him, or simply shared the planet with him. He was one drop in an ocean of drops.

There is drama in taking any person’s timeline and examining it. There seems to be some moments that are more precious than others, more memorable, more important, but none of those moments would exist without the supporting moments that led up to it and held it in place. Those moments, those people that exist outside the spotlight, might be the most important because they are the bulwark that provide and establish. The overlooked, while being drowned in invisibility, are often the context needed for the appreciated to shine. WWII was fought by millions who destroyed. Many millions more were killed by intent or by being in the wrong place at the wrong time However, only some, the very few, events or people are known or remembered. Each moment and each person in each moment was/is precious. How do we reconcile these thoughts? I consider the following.

I had a prayer experience (I’ll explain later) in which I imagined (also to be explained later) that the Lord was teaching me a lesson. I had a dog named Sam who had been my only friend during some of the worst times of my life at the time of this experience. I imagined the Lord saying, ” Who will weep when Sam dies? The nations? The country? The region? The state? The county? The city? Who will mourn?” I said, “I will mourn because I have invested my life and love in him.” The Lord followed with the same questions started with, “Who will weep when you die?” Followed by the same list from nations to city. I indicated that only those who love me will weep. He responded, “I will weep over you as I did over Lazarus because I have invested My life and love in you and know all that you have suffered and experienced.”

The prayer experience gave me a new insight into faith. Humans get lost in doctrine, but God speaks relationship. Jesus knew every moment of Ralph’s life. Ralph was precious because the love of Jesus made him precious. Ralph was not alone, isolated nor lost when he passed because the one who loved him most was there with him.

I wander through the Bible and find chapters upon chapters of names and names connected to family trees. The Bible is full of names written by the One who knows all names in all times. It is God who gives value by investing His love. God’s love makes each person precious. A drop in an ocean of drops may get lost to us, but is not lost to God. Each drop is known. Each person is precious.

About the Blog

I believe it is time for me to change the way I blog. I want to explain how and why to those of you who take the time to read my writing. I’ve worked to keep the blog to about 500 words or fewer so far. This brevity is not natural to my thinking or sharing. I like storytellers and fancy myself a person who prefers complete stories, even when they ramble a bit, instead of shortened or condensed versions that give the point but lack the flavor or personality of the story or the person telling it.

I work diligently to write in common language instead of using religious catchphrases or church slang. I like people who communicate in ways that anyone can understand, and I want to be like that. I tend to believe that faith-based people can forget that the entire world doesn’t speak or even comprehend the Bible, church lingo, or shortcut religious references based on complicated or combined concepts. I plan to be freer with my use of Bible stories but intend to use them in a way that a believer or nonbeliever can relate to. Wisdom stands on its own feet whether you believe in the God who created it or not. I would like to be clear and understandable, even to those who do not agree with me. My faith is important to me and is embedded in everything I say or write. The importance of my faith is all the more reason for me to be considerate of others.

I have often asked my former students if they felt free to ask questions or disagree with me. They felt free when mutual respect was evident. I believe the freedom to question and disagree is critical to real sharing and dialogue. I am not a professional interpreter of the Bible or an authority on religious life, concepts, or philosophy. I became a Christian around 1970. I was raised in the church from birth, but I took a long ramble through terribly destructive behaviors before committing myself to Jesus. I consider myself a person in process who is still making all kinds of mistakes. I love to share what I see and have learned during the process. I’ve had people tell me that I’m encouraging and helpful. That is the focus and goal of my writing.

I am growing and learning, and I view myself as a friend who walks with others, not as an authority who has any right to dictate to them. Mutual respect and courtesy are necessary for real discussions to take place. Each person in the discussion must leave the other free to maintain their opinions if polite persuasion doesn’t change minds. I want to open the door to comments and discussion, but I will feel free to cut them off if they become argumentative, demanding, or discourteous. I will feel free to address your comments in the blog unless you indicate that you would rather keep them private.

I expect, at this point, that I will be more informal and write more in the first person. I may also intersperse some stories that I just think are funny or have a level of entertainment value. I have a gift for walking into embarrassing moments or seeing things from a humorous perspective.

Well, I think that’s about it for the coming changes. I hope this finds you well. Drop a comment if you want. I also keep a prayer list if you’d like to be added to it. I will keep any prayer request on the list for a week. Prayer requests are considered separate from blog content. So, here we go and on with the show!

Part 1: Suffering and Separation

In the 1960’s and early 1970’s the Church of the Redeemer was the scene of a revival that became international in its influence. Graham Pulkingham, who wrote a book about the church, had a powerful experience with Jesus and shared it with a dying Episcopal Church in Houston, Texas. The Charismatic renewal hit. Miracles began to take place. Lives were changed. The arts broke out, music, theater, and more. Outreach ministries like a clinic to the 4th ward and other services were birthed. Groups from the church traveled internationally, and people came from around the world to experience or join the church.

I arrived near the close of the revival season. I experienced the power and beauty of the place and witnessed testimonies take place before my eyes which should convince any person that Jesus is real, alive, and fulfilling His plan and purpose on planet Earth. However, people were there too, with all their mess and mistakes. Perfection can be found in Jesus, but not much in the people who follow Him. Jesus invaded earth, but He did not erase humanity’s short comings. The experience the best and worst arrived in the same room at the same time because God was present with man, and man was present in his pre-heaven state.

I was both lifted and crushed by the experience. The demands of work and ministry were more than I could handle, causing my crash. Revival is a place you visit, but not a place to live. The crash was multiplied by a church counselor who did not understand what was happening nor why. His words were crushing and later proved wrong. He offered the best he had in a moment beyond his ability or understanding. The fail, mine and the counselor’s, taught me more than almost any other experience I can remember. It took years to walk out of that pit, but the process of walking out was an education I do not regret. The things I learned were more beneficial to me, and to others who’ve had to live around me, than the college education I later received which birthed a career.

One of the lessons was why the world and those in it suffer and need a savior. A Christian has to face the ongoing battle of realizing and learning about Jesus while hurting others and being hurt by others. The world is a broken place and individuals are broken in it. The best and worst of life exist in the same moments and the same locations. The bad pushes us to search for Jesus and to examine ourselves in the process of the search.

Horror Story, Part 3 of 3

My testimony is the work Jesus did to turn a blind, deaf, angry, selfish soul into someone who is learning and occasionally operating in His virtues. He teaches me to care for others and not just myself. He teaches me about the kingdom of heaven versus the kingdom of man and how to choose heaven over man. He teaches me to realize my failings earlier, better than later, and to allow Him to work on them instead of defending and maintaining the failure. He teaches me about Himself who doesn’t fail, doesn’t give up, is there during the worst, and working for the best.

He is the manifestation of all the values I wish were in my life all the time, without fail, instead of just showing up in small bursts of inspirational living. He teaches me to appreciate the positive changes and not to give up during ongoing failures. He teaches me to look for the beauty He has created and He has available, even in the worst of times and the worst of people, instead of staying focused on the depression and sorrow of darkness that is always with us on this planet. He teaches me that faith is real and His truth surpasses all that man can create. He teaches enough about Himself and His virtues to show me that heaven is a real place and a desired destination.

I realize in my experience that anytime with Him is better than anytime without Him. My testimony is that I’m a much better person because of Him with the expectation that I create much less damage and harm when I am with Him. I see why the apostles followed Him around even though they often didn’t understand what He was doing and were confused by what He was saying. I learned and am learning that He is God, and I am not. Thank heaven!

Santa Reflections Part 2

I am a person who puts on a Santa suit and becomes a stage prop for families coming for an annual visit and picture with Santa. I get to marvel at people and families during their pursuit of family identity and tradition. I have become aware that each person is a unique one of a kind miracle, and each family has its own unique fingerprint. Even the commonalities are unique to families and individuals.

I often get stopped or find myself engaged in Santa type interactions anytime I go in public wearing red during December. I was on the river walk in Savannah and suddenly found a small child wrapped around my legs. Mom was horrified that her child was acting so with a stranger. I calmed the mom and went into Santa mode, which really calmed the mom. Once the Santa connection was made, I watched mom and child enter the myth magic. They began to share the true magic of love between them, using the season as a method of bonding and learning to experience each other. I was impressed.

People enjoy restuarant’s outside seating that are all along the river walk. Many started Santa type interactions with me that were fun and indicative of the lively personalities and warmth available among strangers when the season thins or lowers the walls of isolation that people typically have in place throughout the year. Each interaction indirectly shows life concerns or life values that point to the inner beauty and culture of the person inside the comments.

I find myself more aware of the many small, beautiful moments that create the large impression of the season. I see individual families in the taffy pull of life, stretching each other, breaking and healing simultaneously in intense moments. During photography sessions, I see children both aggravating and protecting each other, arguing one second and speaking for each other the next. I see parents proud, happy, and frantic in moments that border on chaos. It is like I’m seeing all the individual drops that are involved in parting the Red Sea instead of just looking at the wall of water.

I’m beginning to learn to see God’s amazing involvement in His creation beyond the urgency of my personal need, realizing He is present and caring in every moment life offers with everyone you run into.

Santa Reflections from 2025, Number 1

I play Santa during the Christmas season, in full costume. You never know what you will face as a Santa. Most of the time, you are just a stage prop for families coming to create memories related to their annual traditions. Mom and dad’s often have a string of Santa pictures through the years as one of the ways they track the growth of their children. You can see the, “Not again,” face in some of the kids faces as they grow older. Still, most play along because it is the price you pay for being family.

Three truly touching events happened this year. Each remind that, even in a joyful season, suffering and sorrow exist.

  1. An older woman who had a stroke and realized she had become handicapped wanted to sit with Santa. She looked sincerely into my face and told me that she wanted her mind back. I could see the pain in her awareness. I took her hands in mine, and we prayed together. It was all I knew to do.
  2. An elderly woman came in with dementia. Her family surrounded her with love and wanted to give her a visit with Santa because it fit where she was mentally/emotionally. The Chamber, my sponsor, provided the time I needed to visit with her and let her family use the time to love on her. She may have been unaware, but the love she was given by her family was beautiful to see.
  3. A woman came in with three teen daughters, dressed alike, and a framed picture. The picture was of her only son who had died in late May, in the same month after graduating high school. She wept profusely while I held the picture and the daughters posed. She was truly brave and thanked me, who had done nothing, for being there. Rarely do you get to see such courage in such a painful time as I did with her visit.

I have much to learn from my interactions with others. I will write another, but lighter, post of reflections on Santa soon.

Santa Moments

I have been given the golden opportunity to play Santa for others. I have the full costume, the padding (all mine), white hair, and white beard (also all mine). I get stopped by kids and families often when I wear red out in public during this time of year. It has created many opportunities to see families at work, creating memories, and playing with the most fun aspects of the seasonal mythology. I am just the stage prop for pictures with the opportunity to engage and watch.

One five year old joined me at the chair. I asked if she was on the naughty or nice list. She assured me, in the most convincingly sincere manner, that she was on the “nice” list before shooting her father the unmissable silent command to back her up. He responded with a silent, but clear facial signal, that she was safe because he had her back. Santa would not get any evidence or comments to the contrary. They were great!

Sometimes being Santa is like watching a taffy machine working the candy to the precise perfection needed. Families come in pulling on each other from every direction: loving, being loved, needing help, sharing forgiveness in as many directions as it is being required by self and others. They manifest all the push and pull of loving well and not so well to terribly. They are processing life together in a way that shows the many levels and dimensions in the struggle to love, be loved, and be lovable. They are simultaneously making mistakes and learning to repair or deal with them.

They are actively engaged in the process of being family and showing how intimate and necessary the process is for life. It is miraculous and unique in each family. People miss all the finely tuned moments of life by only measuring love in the big moments when it is the brass band instead of when it is the breeze in the tree tops or the rustle of leaves on the ground. I see God in all these small, messy relationship connections that build a family into viable and critically important unit of personal and community life.

It is truly a life resource that is under attack and in constant need of protection. Christmas is a time where great healing and unity is possible for those who believe and pursue God in their daily lives.

Discernment

Discernment is the ability to evaluate the qualities in any choices. The most personal and or important discernment might be between good and evil because that affects an individual person at a potentially eternal level.

There must be a solid standard for discernment to work. Many people choose standards which do not require moral and or ethical standards like the controlling values of money, wealth, prestige, power, and the like. False standards, or gods, are dangerous and can create tremendous levels of life and relationship damage. It is important to know whether a god or the God is the controlling influence.

Scams require discernment to see through them and not be trapped by them. Scams appeal to desires and feelings, not to standards of virtue that are greater. You see so many pitches for instant (or extremely speedy) health, wealth, appearance, power, or pleasure of some sort. The worst scams we face might be the lies we tell ourselves. “I can break _ (list any healthy life discipline broken) because __ (list any excuse you’ve ever used).”

Discernment teaches us to see who or what benefits from the program, sales pitch, or idea being presented. The detective movies always say, “follow the money.” Another way of checking for scams is the old saying, “If it sounds too good to be true, be assured it is.” The Bible is the best measure. This measure or standard can be applied to business, politics, relationships, and church.

Prosperity preachers are being treated like scammers because their messages appeal to man’s desired outcomes more than the preferences and purposes of God according to the Bible. However, any preacher or person who shares the gospel can cherry pick their preferred verses to make the Bible appear to say what they want it to say. The problem isn’t the Bible. It is the person distorting the Bible for their own purpose. It’s up to each person to know the difference: discernment.

It is important to protect ourselves from the scammers in this life and the scammers who misrepresent truth for their own benefit. “Is this the truth of God as verified throughout the Bible or the preference of man?” Is a good guiding question. It is important for each of us to know what is having a controlling influence over our choices. A critical life skill is discernment between the self oriented values of this world and the true virtues of God. Jesus is a proven standard and is verified throughout the Bible.

Something Better

I think on this day before Thanksgiving I would like to offer a thought about being thankful for more than the pleasant things.

It is natural to be thankful for all the benefits and comforts of life, the things that go our way, and the things that bring satisfaction in our accomplishments. I think that it’s equally important to give thanks to the rest, the gifts of life that form and shape us into the people we are.

It is the discomforts in life that grow us towards maturity and that teach us how to make decisions with experience and wisdom. The discomforts teach us to learn from this mistake because a bigger one is in the wings waiting for us if we don’t. It is how we learn to endure, be strong, have courage, and stand fast in adversity. It is the proof of true and deep friendships. It is the comfort that God is the Father who trains his children as we train our own for success, discipline, and hope.

It is the drill instructor that pushes a soldier beyond his limits and forces him into the routines that will save his life on the battlefield. It is the coach or circumstance that pushes an athlete beyond all his/her known abilities to unearth the greater abilities within. It is the parents that discipline to shape the ship that will carry a person through the waters of life. It is the nagging doubts that give insight and strength and stabilize beliefs. It is the frustration that empowers someone to have patience and endurance. It is the losses that teach compassion.

Today, in addition to being thankful for all the blessings, I am thankful for the blessing and education of discomfort, challenge, disappointment and all the training in hope, discipline, and love they provide. I am thankful for the worst things that have happened in my life because they have become testimonies of hope to persons needing encouragement. I am grateful that I have never been alone no matter how isolated I felt.

We may provide God the fertilizer of all the sorrows we experience in this world, but He uses those things to plant beautiful flowerbeds and fruit bearing plants. God does not wish our sorrow, but He knows how to transform them into something better.

Deceit

My youngest son believed his older brother to be a great hero. We came upon our youngest right after he broke something. He immediately proclaimed that his brother did it. We reminded him that his brother wasn’t home. It didn’t matter to our young son. He didn’t want to be caught or punished, so he blamed his brother. Humans tend to tell others what they want them to believe or what it is believed the other wants to hear.

Wanting justification and/or forgiveness without consequences shows prominently in every form of media we experience. The media also shows that those avoiding honesty are willing to see others being punished because they are not of the same mind, thought, and/or priorities in life. Some of the most brutal people on the planet seem to be those crying out for acceptance without equal willingness to show it in return.

Accountability is tough. It is facing your responsibilities regardless of what anyone else faces. It is standing in the face of your own right and wrong honestly, without hiding, without avoiding, and accepting what comes from the actions or behaviors.

Like my son, confusion comes when we deceive ourselves that mistakes can be covered up or will go unseen. Lies always tell on themselves. It may take a while, but they will be revealed. It is easier to face earlier than later.

My son got in trouble twice, once for breaking something and another for lying. We have seen politicians create more crimes in their cover up than the original issue, all while being run to the ground by reporters.

There is a place in each of us where we want truth to be as we want it rather than as it is. I recognize this in me. I have become more sophisticated as I aged, but sometimes my behavior is little different from my son: cover up, blame others, act as though it didn’t happen. No one wants to be punished, even when it is amply deserved.

The church was created to focus on God and to create a loving environment where people can have the courage to face themselves honestly. God meets us where we are and is not confused by where we tell Him we are. Honesty with Him is a basic requirement. It is the best and safest path.