Tag life

Horror story? Part 1 of 3

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I have listened to some Christian testimonies and even remember the way I told my own when I first recognized God and wanted Him in my life. The testimonies are often like a horror movie given in vicious detail, complete with gore, all the way up to the closing credits, ending with the statement “and the monster died.” Like many witnesses, I was preoccupied, even glorified, what a horrible and miserable person I was. I was spending more time looking over my shoulder at what was than I was at the person who was rescuing me during the entire time and the future that was now before me.

Some of the greatest miracles in my life happened before I ever called myself a Christian. I look back and think about the choreography of people who were placed in my life, giving me insights that led to my recognizing what needed to happen if I wanted to survive. I think about all the people who put the virtues of heaven on display and showed that what I was doing was really awful, and what was possible to be truly desirable. I think about the close calls that made me realize there might be another hand in life beyond my own or the people around me.

There were many little and big things that proved, eventually, that life was more than a natural phenomenon. I’m not sure how some changes happened. I looked upon other’s kindness as something to use selfishly until the day I began to feel really cruel and ugly when I did it. I might’ve felt cruel and ugly the entire time while lying to myself that it didn’t bother me, but I did become aware of the selfish cruelty. That single change may have been one of the most important miracles. I became aware that I was accountable for being bad, instead of blaming everything and everyone else. There was an entire host of related mini revelations that made repentance a relatable choice instead of an anger inducing insult.

Santa Reflections Part 2

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I am a person who puts on a Santa suit and becomes a stage prop for families coming for an annual visit and picture with Santa. I get to marvel at people and families during their pursuit of family identity and tradition. I have become aware that each person is a unique one of a kind miracle, and each family has its own unique fingerprint. Even the commonalities are unique to families and individuals.

I often get stopped or find myself engaged in Santa type interactions anytime I go in public wearing red during December. I was on the river walk in Savannah and suddenly found a small child wrapped around my legs. Mom was horrified that her child was acting so with a stranger. I calmed the mom and went into Santa mode, which really calmed the mom. Once the Santa connection was made, I watched mom and child enter the myth magic. They began to share the true magic of love between them, using the season as a method of bonding and learning to experience each other. I was impressed.

People enjoy restuarant’s outside seating that are all along the river walk. Many started Santa type interactions with me that were fun and indicative of the lively personalities and warmth available among strangers when the season thins or lowers the walls of isolation that people typically have in place throughout the year. Each interaction indirectly shows life concerns or life values that point to the inner beauty and culture of the person inside the comments.

I find myself more aware of the many small, beautiful moments that create the large impression of the season. I see individual families in the taffy pull of life, stretching each other, breaking and healing simultaneously in intense moments. During photography sessions, I see children both aggravating and protecting each other, arguing one second and speaking for each other the next. I see parents proud, happy, and frantic in moments that border on chaos. It is like I’m seeing all the individual drops that are involved in parting the Red Sea instead of just looking at the wall of water.

I’m beginning to learn to see God’s amazing involvement in His creation beyond the urgency of my personal need, realizing He is present and caring in every moment life offers with everyone you run into.

Santa Moments

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I have been given the golden opportunity to play Santa for others. I have the full costume, the padding (all mine), white hair, and white beard (also all mine). I get stopped by kids and families often when I wear red out in public during this time of year. It has created many opportunities to see families at work, creating memories, and playing with the most fun aspects of the seasonal mythology. I am just the stage prop for pictures with the opportunity to engage and watch.

One five year old joined me at the chair. I asked if she was on the naughty or nice list. She assured me, in the most convincingly sincere manner, that she was on the “nice” list before shooting her father the unmissable silent command to back her up. He responded with a silent, but clear facial signal, that she was safe because he had her back. Santa would not get any evidence or comments to the contrary. They were great!

Sometimes being Santa is like watching a taffy machine working the candy to the precise perfection needed. Families come in pulling on each other from every direction: loving, being loved, needing help, sharing forgiveness in as many directions as it is being required by self and others. They manifest all the push and pull of loving well and not so well to terribly. They are processing life together in a way that shows the many levels and dimensions in the struggle to love, be loved, and be lovable. They are simultaneously making mistakes and learning to repair or deal with them.

They are actively engaged in the process of being family and showing how intimate and necessary the process is for life. It is miraculous and unique in each family. People miss all the finely tuned moments of life by only measuring love in the big moments when it is the brass band instead of when it is the breeze in the tree tops or the rustle of leaves on the ground. I see God in all these small, messy relationship connections that build a family into viable and critically important unit of personal and community life.

It is truly a life resource that is under attack and in constant need of protection. Christmas is a time where great healing and unity is possible for those who believe and pursue God in their daily lives.

Vacation

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I have often thought that I could have a great vacation if I could be a (blank: fill in your own prejudice here) for a week. I don’t think I would want to be this for more than a week because I might grow into it and never leave. But consider the short term relief of being a (blank).

As a (blank) is never wrong, there would be no self recriminations or doubts about your behavior, thoughts, or feelings. You would be free of concern for other’s feelings. It would naturally be their fault if you did anything that harms them in mind, body, or soul. They should have known better. It would be perfectly correct to blame others for things I may have done or caused because a (blank) has no faults. There would be no need for gratitude because a (blank) deserves every good or blessing that comes as a right and privilege of being who/what he/she/it is.

Consider the opposite. Think about how much time you are consumed in concern for others. Don’t count the concern you have for your own needs because that is the human condition. Think about the concern you have that impacts others, whether you’ve helped or harmed, and to what degree. Consider the amount of energy you spend going out of your way for others. Consider the time you take caring for others in priority over your own needs. These considerations provide a measure of how far you have moved away from being a (blank). It may actually reveal to you how much distress it would cause you to be a (blank) for a week even though you might want the rest.

I’ve decided I prefer my current frustrations over being a (blank) for a week. I prefer the little humility I might have over the ego a (blank) exudes. I have closeness in friendships and family that a (blank) will never attain. The rewards of the caring frustrations outweigh any possible benefit to being a (blank). I agree that love is more powerful and beneficial in all its inconveniences than selfishness could ever gain by its cruelties.