Marriages born of differences are gifts for growth, but pride, selfishness, and cruelty would turn them into tools of destruction. One’s venting becomes the other’s abuse unless the two learn to see the truth behind the actions from God’s generosity and compassion. The first learns that venting is release not attack and must be open to counsel. The other realizes the frailty of the first, denies offense, and gets help or provides help as the Lord and the other allow.

Coffee is not a solution to all problems, nor is a quiet cup of tea. It is pretty much a guarantee that both upset partners will need to examine themselves when a crisis arises. Assuming that the other is the source of the problem is an issue of pride, more than enough reason to apologize and accept change. A quiet time of prayer can open doors for both upset partners. When the two are expecting God’s truth to intervene, the two in distress can be dealt with in positive ways.

Anger can be reduced in the presence of thankfulness. My wife and I have been married 47 years so far. The more time I look to see thankfulness for her, her gifting, the more I see, which is more reason for thankfulness. Thankfulness looks past the offense and into the face of opportunity because it sees something better coming on the horizon for both parties. It is absolutely true that the lesser qualities of each can be beneficial to both in a healthy growth environment.

A healthy growth environment is created by wisdom. Wisdom is a characteristic that is formed by the ability to be taught, corrected, and humble. It searches to use knowledge in its right purpose instead for selfish reasons. Knowledge can be destructive because it can be limited to human ability. Wisdom has to be connected to God and His purer values which will build up and not tear down, will heal and not destroy.

True marriage is a contract for two humans to collaborate with God, who has their best in mind. He will cause the two to constantly increase in joy, health, and well-being. They will gain ground in troubles, being strengthened instead of weakened, both personally and in marriage. Destruction is not a requirement, no matter how many disparage marriage. Marriage can, because it was intended to be, the most wonderful relationship ever experienced. It is an example of life with Christ.