There is so much I don’t understand and moments when understanding comes easy. Marriage is a constant education for me.

I didn’t need to understand when we became engaged and married. I knew I loved her. I believed she loved me. We had a relationship. We began our timeline of life together with more ignorance that we could imagine until later. Later, we had learned more and realized how little we knew in the beginning. Each stage of the timeline was much the same. We saw how much we didn’t know and how much we had learned, and how much was left to learn. One thing was and is consistent throughout the journey, the relationship.

Our commitment, our relationship, carries through the ups and downs, the known and unknown, the confusion and the order. It provides a strength and unity when it should not exist. It provides a bubble of hope with the simple holding of hands in times of uncertainty. It creates a stability within instability and a reference point when no map coordinates are available. There is a world in our life together that is like its own planet that has all the complexity within and without which can never completely be grasp. Yet it works. It continues. It is a seed that creates a plant that grows creating limbs that stretches itself into its environment shaping the air like a sculpture and interacts with all other life. A marriage is a created thing that becomes its own life, a living connection, that builds and grows. It is often described, yet beyond complete description. It is a miracle.

Marriage requires humility because without humility, it is impossible to love. The marriage constantly pressures the partners to put themselves aside for the other, creating a joy that defies logic to people who prefer “me first.” It is the joy you find when you are not the most important. It is the completeness you experience when you are not trying to complete yourself but someone else. It is a you first mentality that defies the common preference of humanity. It is the truth that defies common knowledge.

Marriage is also one of the most common example of the relationship that God wants with people. It is a relationship that lives among all the gaps of understanding with a kind of confidence and strength. It is a sharing and communication that can live a healthy life despite the leaks and potential wounds of broken or shattered pottery. It is a joy beyond understanding and a connection that grows and produces life through all challenges and all victories. It is an eternal miracle. It is life and life giving.