Saying Is Seeing

I had a long conversation with my pastor about the beauty and growth of our church. The more we spoke, the more I realized that everything I said exposed where I am in my personal growth. I see the church in terms of where I am. That may or may not directly correlate with where the church is. We, the church, are a single group made up of diverse individuals, as my friend Heather says. We are each a unique part of the same creature.

The pastor has the unenviable position of seeing all the individual parts, hearing each speak from his/her point of view, and the requirement to discern what they say in the context of the whole. He has a most difficult job, especially when you consider that He has to apply what he hears the family say to where the Lord is leading and to move all the family toward God. Anyone who has had to keep a group in a good working relationship while on a journey together knows the challenge.

Speaking to the pastor shows me my limitations and individual point of view. I may not have really seen myself honestly in my thoughts. My insight became much clearer as I opened my mouth to speak. My words, out loud and in the open, began to be more clear when put in the context of a broader and deeper point of view. The pastors ideas, responses, and point of view acted as a mirror, reflecting my words and ideas back to me so I could see them better through context than when they were just located in my mind.

The insights give me the opportunity to pursue the Lord with what I’m seeing inside myself. Though the pastor made no complaint or correction to me, my words showed me immaturity in my thinking and insecurity in my feelings. What was not seen or said by my pastor became obvious to me through my own words.

I used to say things to my students like, “You can’t write any assignment without exposing the author behind it.” It is as true in me as it was for them. Listening is a two way proposition. It is hearing the other and hearing what is really behind what you are saying. It is the complex art of self correction and awareness for growth’s sake. It is choosing to reflect and become aware of your own motives, good and bad. Your own words can help you see what growth lies in your future. God uses relationships so that, through our communications, we can see Him, each other, and ourselves with clearer vision. God’s plan is our growth toward Him. Our openness allows Him to teach us, even through our own words.

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